The Recovering High Achiever

Let me guess. 

You were “a pleasure to have in class.” Your parents “never had to worry” about you. You’re organized! You have an excellent set of skills that have led to high achievements. However, the older you get, you notice that these strengths can often lead to problems in your life as well. You take on a lot, and struggle to feel productive unless you are truly burning yourself out. You’re self-aware, but at times struggle with being too self-critical. On the outside, you appear confident, driven, organized; however, the inside can tell a different story. 

The trouble comes when too much of our identity is tied to this ability to achieve. Our self-worth becomes tied to our achievements and, as we get older, opportunities for achievements are less frequent. We don’t have weekly tests, quizzes, sporting events, and performances to measure our abilities. This can lead to feeling directionless, anxious, and inadequate. 

There is light at the end of the tunnel, however. Therapy can be a great place for “recovering high achievers.” Treatment can focus on challenging perfectionistic beliefs and cognitive distortions, developing self-compassion, increasing tolerance for mistakes and uncertainty, exploring the origins of achievement-based self-worth, building an identity that extends beyond accomplishments, and learning to value effort, authenticity, and personal fulfillment rather than solely outcomes. If any of these things ring true for you, please feel free to reach out to get started!